“There is no doubt that the process of facing one?s self is hugely difficult, especially if, like many artists, you have been hurt badly or are very sensitive. I would wager that most people will never do it because of the enormous effort required and pain of the task. It is an odyssey.”

I agree with Michelle. Ten years ago, I was obliged to give up my career as a successful professional pianist owing to an ongoing health challenge, and it has certainly been an odyssey, trying to come to terms with the loss of my ability to play the piano for more than 20-30 minutes. Many friends simply saw it as an opportunity to change career, and were not aware of the huge impact on my whole sense of identity. Playing the piano was not simply something I did as a career. It was part of the very substance of who I was– or so I thought. Disentangling the threads of vocation, personality, and sense of self took much hard work and courage over many years. And skilled assistance.

Michelle was lucky enough to find a good therapist. I also worked with one for a number of years and still have my prized mentors whom I can turn to. Sometimes therapy is definitely the best choice.

However, many of the ongoing themes in Michelle’s life are ones which every music student faces. For example: How do I deal with constant competition, rejection, anxiety, jealousy? Negative self-talk when I’m performing? I’m feeling so stressed out that I’m not sleeping…. I’m not even sure I want to be a professional musician any more. Or, I have a great career, but somehow I feel numb, disenchanted, disillusioned…I’m not sure what my goals are any more.

When I was coaching and advising students at the Guildhall School of Music and Drama in London, often these issues were so present and all-consuming that they were interfering with practice, auditions, exams, professional successes. Yet, many of the students didn’t feel comfortable, for a variety of reasons, with approaching and confiding in their principal study teachers.

I became so concerned about these students, and so inspired to pass on the principles I had been discovering in personal development work that I decided to take a Masters in Psychology. I felt that I needed coaching and counseling skills in addition to my musical ones, in order to truly be able to serve these sensitive and gifted people.

These days, my focus in my life coaching practice is to first of all provide a listening ear, a safe, non-judgmental place for musicians to be able to share their thoughts, feelings and experiences, and secondly a box of tools to assist clients in getting in touch with their deepest values, clarifying their goals, daring to dream, and developing new practices, thought patterns and behaviors which move them where they want to go. It is truly possible to change limiting beliefs, eliminate negative mind chatter, become more self-accepting.

So I’ve moved from being in a state of shock and grief over my ‘lost career’ to a place of experiencing a new and fulfilling one. And Michelle, by her own account, is happier and more focused and motivated than ever and well on her way to a successful career. Thanks, Michelle for inspiring us all!

So more recently when I got to hear of the famous “Leonard Bernstein’s Young People’s Concerts” which ran from the late 1950′s into the 70′s, I was interested to take a look. I borrowed the nine-DVD set from the library, and I’m currently undertaking a Leonard Bernstein marathon.

The early episodes provide an amazing glimpse into a vastly different world. Grainy, black and white shots of shiny, eager, immaculately dressed children arriving at Carnegie Hall. Parents in pearls and suits looking so terribly middle-aged it’s hard to believe they were ever young, shiny and eager. Bernstein with dark brilliantined hair, looking a little nervous, and consulting his notes every few words. The New York Philharmonic composed entirely of elderly, balding, Caucasian men with odd physiognomies and funereal expressions.

And yet it’s still enthralling to watch Bernstein captivating his audience almost instantaneously, sometimes with a theme well-known on television at the time (“The Lone Ranger”!) or by analyzing sonata form using a Beatles song (pop music!), sometimes stretching his listeners’ ears and imaginations with Ravel’s La Valse or some Mahler.

While watching, I find myself filled with various thoughts and feelings–” Would this be possible on television now? Would today’s kids be interested if you caught them early enough– before they had been waylaid by media pressure? Why was it a given that all children ought to like classical music– should we be making more effort even now to persuade them of that idea? Those kids are really well-informed! I wish I’d seen these when I was a kid… Ouch, Bernstein is being really condescending about non-Western music… I guess we all were back then… Why does Bernstein refer to all composers as ‘he’ without thinking? I’m glad there are more women in orchestras now… Wow, I’d forgotten he was such an accomplished pianist. He’s an incredible musician…”

My father-in -law shares with me that he used to be glued to the TV when these programs were on, although he had no musical background. He loved having aspects of the music pointed out to him and to be able to discover aspects of structure and instrumentation that would have previously passed him by.

Stimulating and provocative programs. More to follow…

Thanks to a Wikipedia article, I’ve discovered that the original architectural style is known as Brutalist (very apt)! There were also rumours while I was at Guildhall that the architect committed suicide after completing the Centre, but I have so far discovered no proof of that. Bottom line: the place needed help desperately!

From the first time as a teenager that I tried to find the Guildhall School of Music and Drama for a masterclass and arrived over thirty minutes late due to getting hopelessly lost, through my many years as a student and on staff there, I always felt sad that the Centre had such a down-trodden and functionalist air, despite the energy and talent of so many incredible artists.

The reports of the new-look Centre (and the resulting increase in attendance) are so encouraging that I’m actually looking forward to seeing it next time I’m back in England.